Magnum Opus

The Bicycle

Once upon a morning cloudy, I set out, still with head so drowsy,

In search of legends known to some - Chuffy, Kathy, the mighty Si.

At length was heard the sound of squeaking, then a breathless voice was speaking,

A tall girl pulled up, nearly reeking, reeking from her valiant ride.

"'Tis some visitor" is muttered, "seeking all of those inside." -

-- "Is this Cake Stop?" I replied.

"Unclip thyself from thine recumbent", such disapproval surely unmeant?

Still questioning as one went through the door and being eyed.

Worrying of little matter, flapjacks laid on yonder platter,

Forsooth a dish ne'er lush or fatter, fatter from the sweet inside -

and thirst to quench through foreign teas, none I'd seen or ever tried -

-- This be Cake Stop, I decide.

And the lycra-clad sodality sporting hellbent road mentality

Scared me - dared me with their verbal sparring and intrinsic pride;

Then the door, it opened quietly, Redshift of recumbent piety,

"'Tis some visitor" - indeed, a friend and sometime wheeled guide.

In quest to seek heroic roadies from whom mortals cannot hide -

-- Cake Stop here I shall reside.

Gradually, 'spite fear retreated, hesitant I would stay seated,

Diffident towards the others, except the one who sits alongside.

Confidence I'd gain with meeting, acquaintance though appearing fleeting,

Riders busied with their eating, eating all would Clare provide.

To that end we tarried, chatting, equating our machines beside -

-- A Cake Stop curio implied.

Long I listened, growing obsessed, tales recounted; century conquest,

Sometimes venturing opinions - rarely shared and quite untried;

And at length although still learning, certain topics found returning

Certain stories held me yearning for the open road outside,

"Chronicles" enthralling all, the Authoress clearly in her stride,

-- The Cake Stop listens open-eyed.

Such adventures rife with action, heroes battling fuelled faction

Mighty foe of many number, set against one raven-eyed.

Armied and of worthy fight, her grip on evil ever tighter,

Petrolled pallor ever whiter: "Curse thy cycling fiends!" they cried

As the Priestess most revered, o'er the land she would preside

-- Thus was the Cake Stop story plied.

All at once the air, it altered, drink containers gripped and faltered,

Then were voices loud and craven - "Wasn't me!" Evil Chuffy tried,

The League of Gentlemen agreed with haste to confiscate his steed,

When in weighed Ronstrutt, the stampede halted, quick it would subside.

Presently an "Is red faster?" argument would soon divide,

-- Cake Stop opinion: opened wide.

All the while they sat debating while I pondered colours, waiting,

For so surely would the discourse vitiate itself I sighed,

"How may painting have such bearing?" said I, noting tempers flaring,

Chuffy resolute, declaring "Disbelief be cast aside."

Marching through the cafe door his countenance seemed almost snide,

-- No more would Cake Stop be defied.

For a moment the assembled cyclists stared, then slowly trembled

As intention dawned revealing -- dawned, the danger to who'd try;

For the Authoress allknowing of the changes undergoing

Standard time perception slowing of the speeding hero ride --

His velocity increased and rend'ring space and time untied,

-- Gone! The Cake Stop, mesmerised.

How the shifting shining portal seemed to access no mere mortal,

Vanishing an instant after, folding in itself inside,

Only one appeared unfeeling; other minds were brought to reeling --

Many more had started wheeling aimlessly, and some to hide --

"Be this scene a warning, let us hasten for the safe inside..."

-- "To the Cake Stop!" she applied.

"Danger is our friend doth chasing, this unstable reckless racing,

Relativity", said she, "will mean our time now we must bide."

There we waited, hours I reckoned, 'til a strange disturbance beckoned

Waiting not a single second more did certain members try

'scape the confines of the room, lest all be caught and certain fried,

-- Then did Cake Stop two wheels spy.

Slowly, as if quietly rending all of Nature's laws to bending,

Out of nothing came a shifting sense of bike and man and pride;

Soon I heard a frightful braking, felt the heat of Aztecs baking,

And the words: "Mine legs are aching!"; one more clue he would provide --

To that hastening emergence, black as soot his frame astride,

-- The Cake Stop door! Would he collide?

With the awful sound of smacking, "'tis but polystyrene cracking"

Thought I, turning round: the space of man and door did coincide;

Little left on ancient hinges, panelling reduced to fringes,

Chuffy rued his hamstring twinges, someone tending to his side,

But her ferret unbeknownst had slipped away, it seemed, to hide,

-- The Cake Stop too preoccupied.

No, the daring devious creature -- drawn to that unworldly feature,

In such sparkling twisting beauty was an awesome power belied.

For a moment, waried, stalling, curiosity drove him crawling

Instinct bent so on exploring, onwards, inwards through this eye.

Such investigating saw him find himself quite soon inside.

-- A Cake Stop voice just then outcried.

"Rosencrantz! My rash Putorius! 'Til thine end my overcurious

wretch!" wailed Kathy, racing over to the strange space-time divide;

Barely did the gateway's random form betray its grasp - her tandem,

Leaping back in fright did pandemonium break out in stride --

Holding fast her steed the portal closed abruptly just beside,

-- Cake Stop left with half her ride.

"Rosencrantz!" she wept, dejected, "Carelessly left unprotected!

To say nothing of my cycle: neatly rent in two!" she cried.

"Strength my lady." the Adonis offered; -- "Thou art surely honest

but that duty", Tim admonished, "'tis but mine alone!" he vied;

"Let us once adjourn, to that ambrosia surcease inside."

-- "To the Cake Stop!" she replied.

"What then" said I, "stays of forum? Thine peculiar decorum --

such intoxicating practice! Cast thy recklessness aside!

Let this day's unbridled lesson check thy coloured speed obsession!

Let there be no doubt or question! -- Leave such fancy at thy side!

Take thy steeds unto the road, and take thy stable ventures wide!"

-- To the Cake Stop: I decried.

And the Authoress, still is telling, Chronicles quite so compelling

That the audience unwav'ring eagerly awaits with pride.

And the kindred still inviting tales of audax, wheels and lighting,

And the Cafe still exciting those who'd perch on saddled hide;

And the legends of my searching certain to be found inside,

-- Cake Stop, there would all reside.

Becky T and cruise-cat.blogspot.com © 2009

One little victory

Gosh, it has been a while since I poked this blog, hasn't it! Before skimming the last post here I had almost no recollection of what I'd written, so perhaps a synopsis of events over the last two years (two years?) is in order.

I built my P-38 in the late spring of 2007, started to ride it at the end of August, and put maybe 200 miles on it until about November. Then I found myself unable to ride for a couple of months. Sometime around the following February or March I was getting back into the swing of things, still not feeling totally fit but I was working on it.

The seat of the P-38 is a lovely design, with a single piece of nylon mesh stretched from one end to the other, a foam pad sewn to the horizontal bit, and the whole thing cantilevered out for passive suspension. It didn't quite agree with me at first, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the potential of the bike. So much potential in fact, that I wrote a review of it for Velovision magazine. Around the same time, I replaced the bike's rear derailleur, acknowledging that eBay bargains are sometimes not all that they seem. A new Shimano Deore XT (RD-M771 SGS) unit was fitted, and to be honest, I think it's is one of the best derailleurs I've ever used.

The 2008 York Cycle Show was held at the tail end of June, and for the first time I didn't use a car to get there. With a tentative pedal up and down my road on my little Dahon folding bike, for I was missing being able to put weight on myself on an upright bike -- and with the riding position of Annie being bit too aggressive to risk -- I decided to take the Dahon to York on the train, with me weighed down under my Timbuk2 messenger bag and my Landranger map and camera nestling inside my handlebar bag. The cycle show was rubbish. It rained; I got cold and wet and miserable and lonely, and left early to ride the several miles to my B&B to the west, and relatively cheerily ignoring the Velovision evening pub ride which had been my primary reason for attending. The next day was brighter and I followed the pub ride route in reverse, through Askham Richard, to Copmanthorpe, following the old railway path to Acaster Malbis and the pub; I stopped to visit the Naburn swing bridge and a little skate park that had been built underneath the A19; visited part of the scale model of the Solar System; and then rode northwards through Bishopthorpe and back to the racecourse at Knavesmire. I had no intention of wasting more time at the show, and instead spent my lunchtime and a pleasant afternoon wandering around the National Railway Museum before heading home.

Flushed with success of my new upright endeavours, I decided to buy a new saddle for Annie and retire my ancient Flite. Buying the right bicycle saddle is an almost impossible task, but at least I knew what width I needed, thanks to Specialized's 'posterior measuring device'; this was actually nothing more than a thin piece of memory foam that one sits on, and the corresponding depressions from one's sit bones indicate the width of the saddle and the positioning of the padding. Blimey: recumbent seats look like child's play in comparison. Unfortunately all this upright riding wasn't doing me much good, and it hurt my shoulders and wrists for which I'd been riding recumbent bikes in the first place. :-(

July was spent having a lovely summer holiday, cycle touring. The weather was beautiful, the scenery was inspiring, the locals were unreservedly friendly (almost) and my P-38 and I arrived home with 200 more miles on the clock.

Then I changed the bike's 35-622 Panaracer Pasela TG and 35-406 Primo Comet tyres for Schwalbe Marathon Racers, the latter in a slightly fatter 40-406 section. These, as you may recall, were in my original blueprint for the bike but had proved fiendishly difficult to obtain. The roadholding of the Racers is outstanding, especially on tarmac in damp and wet weather; the Pasela tyres while equally fast are a little skittish in those conditions.

In September I rode Pedal for Scotland again, completing the ride in slightly over four hours and riding about 65 miles altogether. I was doing the ride purely for myself this time: no team, no friends, no time restrictions; just two litres of water, half a litre of Irn Bru, three bananas and a packet of flapjacks; Irn Bru is chock full of energy and it doesn't clog my throat the way Coca Cola does. I did see David and Jane from my work on the ride though, and afterwards I bumped into Anth, editor of .citycycling magazine, media tycoon and all-round good guy, and his girlfriend and her Dad, who'd all done the ride. Eric the Trike also did the ride, but I'd taken the train through to Glasgow and gone for a later start than last time, so I hadn't seen him.

By about Christmas time though I was riding my motorbike to work more than I was cycling (the shame of it all), and my fitness was flagging. But it didn't matter because shortly after New Year a broken left hand and a broken right shoulder put an end to my fun, and very nearly put an end to my beautiful motorbike, which is still to be mended. Two impatient months later I was making tentative rides on my P-38 and Speedmachine, which culminated in riding to work. And from then on, while nursing a recalcitrant group of fingers and a hugely unfit pair of legs, it was onwards and upwards. In fact, quite soon after, I broke my record for days' riding to work. Not for two years had I managed to ride to work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in one week, and I did it almost at the first attempt. I did it the following week, and the next, and the next. Hurrah! I've been adding the miles to my legs as much as I can manage, and the lovely weather in March and April certainly helped. It's now July, and "absolutely stoatin' doon"; of course, one is just as apt to declare, in the Queen's English, or indeed the dulcet tones of Maggie Smith, that there is a quite remarkable degree of precipitation today.

I've rejuvenated my visits to The Bicycleworks, out of which Laid Back Bikes operates, and once again have been helping out David with some of his customers. Although primarily a Nazca and Challenge dealer, he now also sells ICE trikes. But the star of the show really does seem to be the Nazca Fuego, a bike of similar proportions to the Challenge Fujin and the earlier HP Velotechnik Speedmachine, with the now-common 20" (ISO406) front and 26" (ISO559) rear wheels. It has adjustable rear suspension geometry to pop up the rear end for a modestly upright riding position or to slam it down for speed demons; it has very nicely made tiller steering; and the frame is bombproof. LBB is also selling the new front wheel drive Raptobike lowracer; I've yet to take it round the block, but David reckons "it fairly belts along!"

But to bring myself right up to date:

• My P-38 is now sitting with 1,925 miles under its wheels, and a pair of stealthy black wheel discs on the back for (probably incremental) aerodynamic gains. With the new(er) rear derailleur, everything on the bike is working absolutely beautifully.
• My Speedmachine is sitting at 1,844 miles, although I think there might be a missing 700 or so because I reset the computer by mistake once. I didn't make a note of it, unfortunately.
• Annie, being somewhat older but underused these days, is still topping the chart with 2,770 miles since about 2004, which when you think about it isn't very much really.
• Speedy lies dormant in the shadow of my motorbike. It's still hugely entertaining to ride, but I also still have plans to sell it.

And, it would seem, you can't keep a good cyclist down. I have another project. It's a bit different this time, but so far has involved the following yummy parts:

• Mavic XC717 rim, laced 3-cross to a Hope XC front disc hub with DT Revolution spokes;
• Mavic XC717 rim, laced 3-cross to a Hope XC rear disc hub with DT Revolution spokes.